Thank U India, Thank U Providence
New podcast from Readercon, the analog kid, + a bunch of links, & more
Intro
For a Virtual guy, I do revel in the analog. I wrote about that a month or so back — the joy I get from my daily postcard habit, mailing out the print-only ’zine, drawing on paper, keeping a longhand journal — but this past weekend the immediacy of the physical world really did wonders for me.
I drove up to Quincy, MA for Readercon, a literary SF/F convention I used to attend in The Before Time. The drive was a grind, but almost from the moment I arrived, I was among friends. Most of them were past guests of the show I’ve stayed in touch friends with. I didn’t take any pictures, but Kate Maruyama did.
I let my hair down, literally and figuratively, and just shot the breeze with people I’ve gotten to know through the show. I’d forgotten the feeling of easy (off-mic) conversation, maybe because this year’s been so fraught for me, but I imagine it goes back farther than that, maybe to lockdown, maybe to The Before Time.
Before the trip, I had my annual physical, and my doctor’s primary observation wasn’t physical at all; he thought I sound depressed and could probably benefit from talking to a therapist. I played with that notion over the weekend, exploring this sense of depression/anhedonia in some of my conversations. Funnily enough, as profound as it all seemed in the privacy of my office/library/head, it all sounded absurd coming out of my mouth. As the weekend progressed, that sense of going through the motions, being distant from myself and/or the world at hand, dissipated in the very act of engaging with people, shooting the breeze with friends, hearing their stories and sharing some of mine. (It may have helped that one of them told me an incident about his health that makes mine pale in comparison.)
I even got to make some new friends, when a couple of booksellers sat down with me & Michael Dirda to hang out on Friday night. Between that & recording a podcast with Lisa Morton (airing in October), then gabbing with her after for almost as long as our pod-session, I got to learn new lives and hear new stories. It felt like regeneration, even if Lisa & I did spend a lot of time talking about zombies.
On Saturday evening, I got back to my other Readercon tradition: having Indian dinner with my college girlfriend. We talked midlife crises, joked, ate khorma, offered what solace we could for what ailed the other, and shared hair-raising stories. (She won with a tale I consider NDA-worthy.) It was a blast to hang out with someone I’ve known for 30+ years, even if we’re still getting to know each other. (There’s lots we either never told the other about when we were young, or never thought to ask the other about, and seeing the book of our lives grow more illuminated with the years is a joy.) She laughed about my hair and my new body, and during our long goodbye hug in the parking lot, I said, “I know you’re just trying to feel up my lats.”
By Sunday morning, I was worried about the impending mega-storms in the northeast, and decided to bug out early from Readercon. Problem was, I told my friends in Providence that I’d drop in on the way home. I e-mailed at 7:30 to see if they’d be functional or if I should just go directly to NJ, and they called as I was loading the car — pod-gear, books, yoga mat, too much clothing, as I wound up only wearing sweat-shorts/black T-shirts/sneakers every day — to tell me they’d have breakfast ready when I got there.
And so I got to spend an hour with more old friends, discovering the joy of Portuguese sweetbread and trying to speak in that anhedonic voice that I’d already lost. The weekend’s easy company got me out of my death-centered drama, but I reflexively & half-heartedly talked about those issues, probably because I didn’t know what else could replace them. But I knew something was changing.
I had a lot of time to think about it during the drive home from Providence, or to let the interior voices chirp up and drag me back down, but I felt I’d be better served paying attention to the road during the apocalyptic rainstorms and singing nonsense lyrics to ‘80s tunes. I was thankful to get home, and to have been with friends.
The next day brought more analog delights, the mail brought a card from a past guest, a card from an artist who recently started following me on IG, and a letter from a retired tutor at St. John’s College whom I met in 30+ years ago. The letter in particular was a pleasure, catching me up on recent years while hearkening back to our Attic Greek course and hours in the (un-airconditioned) Annapolis gym.
In his letter, the tutor imparted a bit of wisdom he’d heard, “The only difference between a rut and a grave is depth,” and I felt so seen.
So now I’m trying to keep myself from dissolving into this digital ether, to enjoy the analog self more than the virtual one.
But for now, on with The Virtual Memories Show!
Podcastery
This week, I posted Episode 547 of The Virtual Memories Show, recorded during Readercon weekend. Christopher Brown rejoined the show for our first conversation since the 2020 release of his novel FAILED STATE. We talk about the nonfiction project he’s working on, tentatively titled THE SECRET HISTORY OF EMPTY LOTS, the surprising reach of his FIELD NOTES weekly newsletter, tribes’ creation myths and how they manage to justify dominion over the land, why the outdoors is one of America’s most segregated spaces, and why calling Washington, DC “The Swamp” is an insult to swamps. We get into the differences and similarities between science fiction and nature writing (esp. Annihilation and Neuromancer), what it means to live in the shadow of Tesla’s Gigafactory, the tensions of child-rearing at a time of ecological disaster, the natural world’s response to COVID lockdowns and capital’s post-COVID snapback, what it was like to vacation in South Padre Island during the hottest week in history, and plenty more. Give it a listen! And sign up for FIELD NOTES! (And go listen to our past talks: 2018, 2019, 2020 + COVID Check-In)
Last week, I posted TWO new episodes of The Virtual Memories Show! In Episode 545, Eddie Campbell rejoined the show for a fun conversation about his new meta-autobio comic, The Second Fake Death of Eddie Campbell (which includes a revised version of The Fate of the Artist, published like an old Ace Double). We get into the culture of masks, his repeated fictional deaths, the memento mori running through his work, how the pictures in your head are always a step ahead of what makes it to the page, and more. Give it a listen! (& go listen to our 2018 episode & our 2020 COVID check-in)
A day later, I posted Episode 546, featuring the return of writer, artist, typographer, graphic designer, etc. Rian Hughes, as we celebrate the US release of his novel, The Black Locomotive! We talk science fiction, art, London, incipient Ballardianism, font design, AI images, his recent book about vintage science fiction book cover art, & a lot more. Give it a listen! (and go listen to our 2020 conversation)
Other recent episodes: Remembering Michael Denneny • Mitchell Prothero • Joseph Monninger • Andrew Porter
Links & Such
RIP Jane Birkin . . . RIP Harry G. Frankfurt . . .
Virginia Heffernan writes about Sen. Hawley’s big damn book of sheer manliness and the history of American crises of manlitude.
Lucy Jakub writes about Hayao Miyazaki and being a grown-up.
Matt Zoller-Seitz writes about Harrison Ford and being REALLY grown up.
Kinda sad/end-of-an-era piece about the departure of a ton of older editors from Penguin Random House.
Man, these Branagh Agatha Christie movies are getting WEIRD.
Summer Pierre has a new website!
I’m tentatively set to record with Adam Sisman, who has a new biography coming out this fall, The Secret Life of John Le Carré. He published a bio of JLC in 2015, which the subject stopped participating in at some point, and tried to submarine. This one’s apparently got the stuff Adam couldn’t publish while JLC was alive. Anyway, here’s an NYT piece on where to start w/Le Carré’s novels. (Regular readers/listeners know I came to JLC late, after getting a nudge from Amor Towles.)
Current reading
The Art of Colour: The History of Art in 39 Pigments - Kelly Grovier
Gravity’s Rainbow - Thomas Pynchon
Art
No art to speak of. Some terrible quick sketches during Readercon, but that’s it. You should go to the Flickr album of most of the art I’ve made & find something you like.
Sound Body, Fractured Mind
I only did TWO days of my weights-yoga cycle, Monday & Tuesday, because I was at Readercon and/or SO goddamned sore from the drive home on Sunday. I did get my floor stretching-exercise routine in every morning, and I “ran” 2.5 miles on the same hotel fitness center treadmill where I first got into running in 2018, because the weights were being used by some muscleheads. Man, treadmill running is boring AF. I hope to get back to my full 5-day routine this week, but we’ll see.
Until Next Week
Thanks for reading this far! I’ll be back next week, with a new podcast, some great links, maybe some art, & who knows maybe a little profundity or something.
The fawn-eyed girl with sun-browned legs / Dances on the edge of his dream / And her voice rings in his ears / Like the music of the spheres,,
—Gil Roth
Virtual Memories
Bluesky • Mastodon • Instagram • Flickr • YouTube • Twitter • Linktr.ee
Hi Gil. You just blabbed on and on about the events leading to Readercon and afterwards. But you got me magnetized with the way you write because you make it all so interesting.
Your concern with your health makes me concerned with my health too. And the privileges of connecting with old friends, you make them so pleasant to read about.
Mr. Mays?